As if something out of a fairy tale, the Cubs fire their destructive hitting coach Gerald Perry and that very day in a tie game with the bases loaded in the ninth, Ryan Theriot delivers an opposite field strike and dismantles the Twins' mighty Jesse Crain and his 7.79 ERA causing the field to erupt with Cubs jumping for joy.

Please.

The Cubs' middle-infield celebration of mediocrity yesterday afternoon like they'd just won the pennant was a testament to just how bad things are/have been on the North Side. Nobody should rush the field after getting a clutch hit off the pitcher ranked #390 out of 400 on CBSSports.com's reliever rankings. 

Then again, if rushing the field like middle-aged women let out of the tunnel to see Prince at the Super Bowl halftime show is what the Cubs need to correct their deteriorating mental state in the batter's box than by all means, Cubbies, rush.

It could be perfect timing. If the heat coming from the South Side starting tomorrow night is enough to light another small fire under the players now that they have some semblance of dignity (albeit not much), maybe they can turn around the hitting like all of them have promised. Maybe the scapegoat firing of Gerald Perry actually will have some coincidental affect on their offensive performance.

If not, well, there will be no rescinding of my statement three days ago that this is a bad hitting team. If it takes a 7+ ERA guy to put together a rally, you're not a good hitting team. The Twins' starter Saturday, Anthony Swarzak, was late for his bus back to the minors and even he looked like a wiz against the Cubs.

The White Sox, on the other hand, are a hitting team. That's why the news that Sox GM Kenny Williams was going after Padres' starter Jake Peavy and Astros' ace Roy Oswalt started circulating. With their young guns John Danks and Gavin Floyd struggling this year -- both set to face the Cubs -- the Sox haven't been able to return to their Central Division champion form either. It's another recipe for more low-scoring one-run games.

There are very few signs, or bats, pointing to better times ahead: 

• Geovany Soto's 3-for-4 performance yesterday and general elevation of the ball in this series is hopeful. 
• Despite some small issues like not knowing the number of outs, running into infielders and missing fly balls in the sun, Milton Bradley went 4-for-11 against the Twins. 
• Derrek Lee extended his hitting streak to 12 games and is hitting .357 this month. 

And the problems continue to get worse:

• Alfonso Soriano went 1-for-12 and did not draw a walk against Minnesota.
• Kosuke Fukudome started all three games this weekend and was hitless, which he's been in his last 18 at-bats -- half of which were strikeouts.
• When Lou Piniella says there's nothing he can do yet he starts Aaron Miles all three games at second, you have a right to be angry. Miles is hitting .176 since coming off the DL, .203 on the season.